Networking is a struggle for me.
We hear it over and over that networking is something we all should be doing. For our careers, it’s absolutely vital.
In the moment, I do pretty well with making conversation, asking the right questions, reading social cues, and actively listening. I genuinely enjoy learning more about other people and hearing their unique perspective on their profession.
It’s the internal crisis before networking that gets me feeling uncomfortable.
What do we talk about? Small talk, like the weather? Ugh. How do I narrow down my job description, so it’s palatable? What was a really good question to ask again?
Shit. Do I have my business cards?
Every niggling thought, every doubt just sprouts up. A few breathing exercises, a small pep talk, and a quick triple-checking that I have my business cards — I feel ready to go.
It seems so silly to feel anxious about it. After all, everyone there wants to talk about themselves or ask about you! It’s a welcome conversation. I remember mentioning this to a colleague, and they said, “you just need to keep practicing!” I completely agree. I still need practice, but I think at the next event I’ll go in with a clearer focus because this weekend I came to a realization that it’s not necessarily practicing, but the intention of the interaction.
Recently, I’ve been trying to discipline myself to sit down and write every day. They say after 28 days you can create a new habit, which I don’t disagree with. They should add, at least in my case, that it only takes six days and binge watching on Netflix to cause your new habit to get sporadic again.
I’ve also wanted to meet new people in the area and build those professional connections. Since graduating, I really missed being around other writers. So I went on Meetup, and immediately found a group called Witch City Writers Group. They were planning to meet at the Peabody Essex Museum to get inspiration from the Lunar Attraction before their usual writing session. I signed up for the meeting and that was that.
Then the day arrived. I got there on time, my notebook ready, and introduced myself to a group of people I assumed were the other writers (I guessed right!). We wandered throughout the exhibit, taking in the pieces of art from around the world, and then sat down in the cafe area to work on our own projects for an hour or two. It was productive, and I actually wrote about four pieces while there. Here is a link to one of them, and it was featured on the PEM’s blog.
At first, I was slightly nervous to meet new people, but none of the usual doubts occurred when walking in. I think it might have been because these were all people that understood what it meant to be a writer. Even though our projects were amazingly diverse, I was so excited to meet them and hear about what they were working on, and any updates they wanted to share since the group had last met.
It wasn’t a traditional networking event; it was just a casual meet up of writers. I know most future networking events won’t be like that, but I don’t think those were the only factors in this. For me, it was going in with intent. Now I understand why there is such an insistence about nailing down your elevator pitch. Knowing my projects, understanding my market, and being able to share it without hesitation made such a difference.
For future networking events, when I’m wearing a suit and holding a soda water with lime, I’ll still be able to walk in without those nagging swirl of questions and doubts. Why? Because I’m going in with intent.
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